PaigeFTW: When Retro Tributes Go Awry

It’s easy to find games that want to hearken back to the golden age of JRPGs, when all battles were turn-based and everyone was an 8-bit sprite.

That’s how I stumbled upon Citizens of Earth, a little RPG released for PC, PlayStation and Nintendo platforms last year. You are the self-absorbed Vice President of the World, a jaunty, generally good-for-nothing type that is quickly swept up in a wider conspiracy. Naturally, you recruit such citizens as the local baker, crazy cat lady and your mother to help you pound walking stop signs, protestors and rogue cops into civic submission.

It’s a cute little game. The writing is smart and sharply satirical, paying tribute to and roasting a legion of previous turn-based titles and other pop culture hallmarks. The 40-character roster is full of amusement. It’s a game that unabashedly loves EarthBound, and you can’t really hate on a game that does that.

Playing it is much less fun, mostly due to a sluggish battle system and a remarkably unintuitive world to explore. It’s fun for the first hour, and then you realize what a slog lies ahead.

It serves as a potent reminder that recapturing the magic of those old classics is a lot easier said than done.

Not all the Final Fantasy games have aged well, but the original still remains a classic, with a battle system that stays interesting and fast from start to finish, with an open-world map that lets you wander but nevertheless keeps you on track.

A good turn-based system requires more than just turns — it needs proper pacing, diverse roles and abilities, and strategic payoff. It’s more than just throwing a brawler, mage and healer into a room and expecting things to work themselves out.

So why are those retro games so good, and why is it so hard to recapture the magic? Let me know what you think, and I’ll share my thoughts next week.

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